The Child Speaks...

In the memory of...

2009-10-09T09:15:00.000-07:00

What follows is purported to have been a London Times obituary. It has been circulated on the Internet, and its actual source and authorship are, to my knowledge, unknown. Nonetheless, I believe that, in its humorous way, it serves as a commentary on modern-day human behavior. The text of the “obituary,” edited for purposes of this publication, is as follows:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, “Common Sense,” who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- the early bird gets the worm;
- life isn’t always fair; and
- maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, “Truth” and “Trust,” by his wife, “Discretion,” by his daughter, “Responsibility,” and by his son, “Reason.”

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers – “I Know My Rights,” “I Want It Now,” “Someone Else Is To Blame,” and “I’m A Victim.”

Not many attended his funeral, because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

The eternal battle..

2009-10-01T11:26:00.000-07:00

"... B: I know you, my man! You go too soft on people.

H: Well, it doesn't harm one to handle certain situations emotionally.

B: Emotions, you say, eh? It is something which you have conjured for all these people.

H: No, no. I have not conjured anything. It is the way people react!

B: Whatever. More than often people tend to get hurt when they act impulsively. Don't tell me you don't know that!

H: Yes, I agree. But this is the way one should live. Don't you understand, mister? It is the emotions that make people stand out from the rest of the herd.

B: That is the crappiest thing I've ever heard. Trust me, whenever people have listened to me, they have been far more successful.

H: That, essentially, is your problem. You think everything can be measured - happiness, sorrow, success et al. When will you learn the ways of mankind?

B: What?!?! How the hell else can you determine the personality of the individual? Come on, you are dishing out the same old shit to me again and again.

H: What I am really trying to say is when it comes to people, they do not plan. They adapt from their experiences, they choose right from the wrong. I just help them make those decisions, that's all.

B: I beg to differ. You don't really make them understand the consequences of their actions. You tell them - Act, don't think!

H: Well, that is the way I am. That is how I make people different.

B: No, no, no. You fill them with all kinds of emotions - greed, hatred, jealousy. You make them irrational. With positive emotions, if I may call them so, there is an influx of negative emotions too!

H: But then I give them the ability to love. Has it not been proved enough that love conquers all?

B: In some cases, I will tend to agree with you. But the point remains that you make them too vulnerable.

H: You know what? I think you are simply jealous.

B: What?!!?! I don't dish out opinions because I 'feel'. I think rationally, analyze and then venture an opinion. You, of all people, should know better than that..."

And thus the battle of heart and brain continues till eternity...

Why?

2009-09-03T18:58:00.000-07:00

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom...
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "GOOD BOY" on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

The skystriker..

2009-08-21T12:13:00.000-07:00

For the uninitiated, Skystriker refers to a variable wing fighter aircraft that first appeared in the hit cartoon series "G.I.Joe"..

Dearest Mom & Dad,

Yes. I need to say this. I need to get this out of my system. It has been there for a while now. Remember how mad I was at both of you when you did not buy a skystriker for me. Little did I realize then what you had given me - wings to fly.

Thanks.

Yours lovingly...

An ode to something called as friendship..

2009-08-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

They say you cannot just sum up friendship in words.. True.. But still, will give it a sincere try.. Wanted to write this on the 'occasion' of friendship day itself, but then a thing struck me.. Why do you need to celebrate a particular day to 'show' your friendship to people.. Hell, every moment I've lived till now has been made special by my friends.. So without going any further into the debate, I would like to express my deep gratitude to the people who I've been blessed with.. :)

Pranksters INC.. I call it.. God knows how the name stuck, but yes, it has stuck.. And will continue to do so.. I won't be sentimental here.. Almost a decade of friendship.. Still going strong.. What more could I've asked for? This blog comes at the time, when all of them are trying to start a new phase of life.. For some, it has already begun.. For some, it is yet to start.. I know this journey is going to be difficult.. It may happen some may lose touch with me.. No doubt, there will be a tinge of sadness as the friends that I've known for almost half of my lifetime, go away from me to take on the world.. But at the same time, there is that distant hope that someday they will be doing something which they are proud of.. And definitely, which will make me feel proud.. I really don't know whether I am able to drive a point home.. Let it be..

To sum up what I've said, thank you very much my dear friends.. Thank you Pranksters INC for being there with me when I needed you the most.. Thank you for making me feel special.. Thank you for accepting me as the person I've been.. Thank you for this.. And thank you for much more.. :)

It will be a great injustice if I don't mention their names here.. (No particular order :D).. Gopli, Polly, Guddu, Lungi, Jassi, Appya, Anna Chimbori, Rajnikant, Ganis Kanis, Raapya, Reenat, Valkya, Kurtya, Phiss, Bhav Bhav, Andya, Kurkure, Dixcy..

It was indeed a pleasure knowing you..

This is Vadi signing off..

Yours truly..

2009-05-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Life,

They say you are hard. They say you are mean. But to me, you couldn't have been more affectionate and caring.

You've given me wonderful parents. You've given me some wonderful friends. The things you've taught me will remain with me forever. Its because of you that I've seen both sides of the coin. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. It really doesn't matter though, I think. The situations I've faced, the situations I'll face, I am sure, are going to make me tough.

They say you're a bitch. But I think you've taught me how to be a dog.

Yours truly..

Its better to burn out than to fade away..

2009-05-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

Some called him a rocker.. Some called him a drug addict.. Some called him 'gay in spirit'.. Kurt Cobain's alleged 'suicide' note dated April 8th, 1994...

"To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complainee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.

For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney :)
for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU"

Well, what do you think?

Engineering concepts & definitions..

2009-04-27T22:49:00.000-07:00

This blog is dedicated to all those people who screwed up four years of their life.. ;)

Basic Definitions :

Engineering College : A place where you are banished to after 2 years of serious slogging..
Senior : One who was ragged as a junior and is dying to get his payback..
Fresher : One who asks where the canteen is..
Really Dumb Fresher : One who asks a senior where the canteen is..
Really Really Dumb fresher : One who follows the senior to the canteen..
Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.. :D
Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)
Lectures : Waste of time. Physical presence is a must.. Only meant for 'extra-curricular activities' such as sleeping, completing assignments etc etc..
Classes : What you take when you don't waste enough time and enough money.. ;)
Professor : One who is paid to put students to sleep..
Vernacular Professor : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with his own brand of English.. ("I'm feeling hot.. Come one by one!" or "I see you seeing outside from the window" :O :O)
Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which you watch the girls do your experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment..
Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in your group simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the readings.. (From the girls of course!)

The truth about exams :

Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk..
Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam..
Revaluation : A cruel joke.. (Results of which come after you give the KT exam; if you are lucky that is!)

The truth about vivas :

External examiner : One who rapes you repeatedly despite your fervent appeals for help..
Internal examiner : One who either joins External examiner or saves your ass (If he is someone who you have chatofied over that semester!)
Marks : The marks you receive are in no way connected to your performance in the viva..

Engineer's 10 Commandments :

1. Thou shalt study only during the preparatory leave.
2. Thou shalt never write thy assignments thyself.
3. Thou shalt begin writing thy journals only on the morning of submission.
4. Thou shalt treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
5. Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.
6. Thou shalt pass 'grace'fully.
7. Thou shalt always be an 'out'standing student.
8. Thou shalt give thy attendance without being present.. Proxy is a must!
9. If thou can't convince them, confuse them.
10. Thou shalt start every sentence with a four-lettered word.

The years of Engineering :

FE : Fond of Engineering
SE : Sick of Engineering
TE : Tired of Engineering
BE : Balls to Engineering

Engineers' Anthem :

Hum honge all clear,
Honge all clear,
Honge all clear ek din,
OH-HO.. Mann me hain vishwas,
Pura hai vishwas,
Hum honge all clear ek din!

Top two Engineering rumors :

'Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm'
'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, its been put up at this college'

The most dreaded acronym for Engineers :

ATKT (Aaj Thoda Kal Thoda)

The most important criteria while selecting an Engineering college :

Girl to Boy ratio.. Or to be specific Females to Males Ratio (You see not all girls are females!)

Engineers at work :

Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass transfer operations throughout the class..

The most important machine for Engineers :

Xerox Machine (Without which assignment completion wouldn't be possible!)

The most important table in an Engineer's House :

The glass table (To carry out GT operations)

The only queue an Engineer is familiar with :

Submission Queue

An Engineer's favourite pass-time :

Bird Watching.. ;)

Common engineering dialogues after a paper :

'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history'

Feeling after Completing Engineering :

Survived!

She was calling...

2009-04-27T22:30:00.000-07:00

All set to depart, he was,
His mother stood there, crying,
“Leave not us, your family”
He ignored - She was calling.

All set to depart, he was,
Stood in front of him, his darling.
“Stay a little longer dear, Please?”
He smiled - She was calling.

All set to depart, he turned,
To his child with his innocent face falling,
“Come back soon, my dear father”
He cried - She was calling.

He left his home, finally,
To the mountains, harsh and chilling.
“Leave me not son, protect my border”
He heard - She was his calling...

The story of two musketeers..

2009-04-14T00:51:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you some story close to my heart.. Its the story of two musketeers.. Athos and Porthos.. There never was a Aramis involved..

Circa 1992: First day of senior kindergarten.. Athos was his vibrant self.. Ready to 'take' on people.. He saw Porthos sitting on his favourite bench.. Wearing a green sweater.. You see.. Athos has this knack of pissing off people and picking up a fight with them.. So did he.. Got into a verbal 'fist-fight' with Pothos.. Lots of things were said.. Lots of anger was poured out.. God knows why the next thing had to happen.. Suddenly, their conscience came scolding them, and they felt bad about what they had done to each other.. They exchanged apologies.. And so with an unusual beginning, friendship happened to both of them..

Era of 1992-2003: Both grew fond of each other.. Both began to respect each other.. They shared everything.. Right from their first crush.. To everything which cannot be mentioned here.. Athos was this arrogant, short-tempered punk.. So was Porthos.. :P Why the like poles didn't repel each other is something we'll never know.. They fought it out.. They were like each other's back-ups.. You hurt one, you gotta fight the other one.. In due course of time, many other people joined them, but deep down in their hearts, Athos and Porthos always knew they, in the true sense of the word, were blood brothers.. Loyalty and adherence to each other was something they managed to have.. Infact, Porthos had his own set of principles, which he taught Athos as well.. So the friendship blossomed..

Circa 2003-2008: They went through numerous ups-and-downs.. But they stood by each other.. There were times when they almost felt that their bond of friendship had to break.. But their age-old affection for each other never let that thing happen.. Athos remained proud of what Porthos was doing.. And Porthos remained proud of what Athos was doing.. Life was going to be a pretty good ride.. Or so Athos thought..

Circa 2008: Then, fart of living happened.. It was as if Porthos involved himself in matters he shouldn't have, according to Athos.. They begin to grow further and further apart.. Pothos did not remain the man he was.. And so did Athos.. Porthos was busy as hell.. Trying to climb his way up the ladder by working hard and harder..

Now: Athos loves Porthos very much.. He misses his company.. He misses his advice.. Somewhere deep down, Athos also knows that Porthos does love him as much.. What the future holds for both of them, is something we'll have to find out by ourselves.. Till then, chio.. Have a nice time..

P.S. I'll bet my ass that Athos wants Porthos to read this some day..

Something about Pranksters INC..

2009-04-13T12:18:00.000-07:00

Its a cool name.. Yeah I know.. Something you need to know about them..
The three tenets which we live by (In that particular order strictly)..
Loyalty.. Show it towards fellow pranksters..
Respect.. Give it to those who respect you..
Attitude.. Strut it only if you're capable of the above two.. Else fuck off.. Period

Welcome!

2009-04-13T11:56:00.000-07:00

For all those losers who have nothing to do in life but waste their time, behold! This is just the domain for you.. I will be writing crap whenever I think of some.. You want to comment, do at your own risk.. I'm mad beyond any comprehension now.. So stop wasting your time and mine as well.. Holy crap! What does this world has come to..
See.. Didn't I tell you? I'm all about crap.. Anyway without wasting my further time, I would like to welcome you to my blog.. Cheers! Go blogging baby.. Go blogging! :P